Blog

Giving Love A Second Chance: Trust love

 

Everybody can talk about second chance so easily, but it could be very difficult to give a second chance to something that has gotten you burnt before. But then, everything we would talk about today would center on this phrase that has kept me going on matters of the heart all these years which reads thus: “Everybody deserves a second Chance”, including you, at least one day.

You need to give love a second chance, not for anyone or anything, not even because you are reading this but for you. Yes, you. You need love, who doesn’t? Building walls around your heart and barricading it from potential or present love is doing you more harm than good. At the end of the day, a great majority who cannot stick around and be patient with you for you to come around would leave and you would be left alone. That’s a hard truth and a fact not usually spoken of but it happens.

You might have been hurt so many times, I do understand. Am not saying that it’s going to be easy but am saying it is definitely worth it. Oh yes, it is. Most times it’s actually the people who come around us to love us after we’ve been hurt that we do not give a second chance. We make them pay for the sins of our past pains and hurts with other people.

Let these few tips help you give love a second chance:

  • Talk about It: Instead of barricading your heart and shutting people out of your life, let them in. Its better they know you’re hurt and how you got hurt. So you can help them heal you and help them understand you. Nobody can read minds. Talk about it, tell your new partner about your past, your hurts and pains. That alone, sends a message that you are giving them a chance.
  • Be willing to heal: This leads to different angles. You can do this by not reading in between the lines unnecessarily, and by not seeing things that aren’t there. You can also help yourself by not tracing back all your partner does to your past relationships and believing he is just the exact same nightmare happening to you all over again. See something amazing in your partner and hold them to it. Let them make mistakes and love them still, after all, they are only human. Grow with your partner, take it a step at a time and let it all unfold.
  • Accept Help: There is a problem when you have a problem and do not want to acknowledge the fact that you have a problem neither are you accepting help. But a problem is half solved if you are willing to accept help, and even know where to get it. Everyone is not all bad, everyone will not hurt you and at the same time, everyone will not please you. Knowing this, will give you a clear mind in your new relationship, you hope for the best and expect the worse. In any way it comes at you, you are ready. That’s having the mentality of everyone and everything including love deserves a second chance.

Sisters, brothers, you cannot fully embrace and enjoy what or who you don’t trust. Learn to trust love if only you want to enjoy it. So, what am I saying? Love is amazing. It’s such an amazing thing that you want to be forever lost in its arms, but how can you feel safe in the arms of what you don’t trust? To trust love, you have to:

  • Put it all in: Oh yes, not having trust comes as a result of leaving something behind, having some carcasses that didn’t go with you. Then you are divided in two, one part is in love, the other part is considering. Take it and put yourself all in.
  • Blind yourself: that sounds too extreme, right? The truth is, if you see everything? You can never trust. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use your brains, it means let something’s go, and that’s if you want to trust love. Trust Love!

Download H!Look Now

Apple  Android

h!look BlogGiving Love A Second Chance: Trust love
read more

Conversation techniques on the first date

An introvert may feel nervous on the first date; however, in fact, being an introvert has many advantages, even during the conversation with your date! I’ll explain it in this article.  I will also show you some really cool conversation techniques that you can use immediately.

  • Play conversation basketball. By that I mean you can introduce hooks when you are talking.

A bad example –

Him: How are you?

Her: Good. Thanks. How are you?

A good example (conversation basketball) –

Him: So glad to see you today. How have you been?

Her: I’ve been great. Thank you. This morning I had the most life-changing coffee.  I guess I have finally figured out how to make good coffee.  How are you today?

Him: Hmmm.  I also had a good coffee this morning, but I’m wondering whose coffee is better, mine or yours?

Her:  Maybe we should find it out some day.

Now you can see that playing conversation basketball isn’t playing games.  Actually, it’s about adding extra information to what you want to say so that your date has something interesting to talk about, thereby making your conversation more meaningful and enjoyable.

By the way, in the second example, the man says “How have you been?” – This makes the woman feel that they have known each other for a while psychologically, so this makes them feel closer to each other quickly.

  • Introduce pauses and build sexual tension. Some people can’t stand the awkward silence.  As a matter of fact, silence has two significant functions:
  1. If you are okay with the awkward silence as an introvert, you are showing your date that you are a very confident person. Therefore, your date feels that he/she should talk more.  In this situation, your date will invest more in you.
  2. Silence builds sexual tension. When both of you are silent, you can look at your date’s eyes for a few seconds, and then look at his/her nose for a few seconds, then look at his/her lips for a few seconds.  Allow your eyes to travel slowly on your date’s face.  This is the perfect technique to build sexual tension under the radar.

Jade Seashell is an Australian author, international seduction strategist and dating expert.

Download H!Look Now

Apple  Android

Jade SeashellConversation techniques on the first date
read more

Putting yourself out there to find Love again

By Jade Seashell (contributor), author of “A Seductress’ Confession: How to leverage beauty and savor tantalizing pleasure”

Maybe you have left a relationship and now you’re wondering whether you should start dating again.  No matter how you feel, I encourage you to start dating now – here is why:

  • Feel the pain, and do it anyway.  Ending a relationship isn’t the easiest thing in the world, so probably you are in pain – and that’s normal.  In fact, that is ten times better than being numb.  Think about an injured athlete: if an athlete is injured, do they completely stop training?  No.  Actually, once their injury has recovered to some degree, the start to do training again slowly.  Therefore, you should also acknowledge the pain, and start dating again.
  • Your previous relationships are not completely negative.  Personally, I think every previous relationship of mine was a success, because each relationship taught me something very meaningful and those experiences made me who I am today.  Without my past, I probably wouldn’t be here writing this article for you.  Therefore, your previous relationships have become the soil which nurtures this beautiful flower (your life) now!  The learning from your past makes your future relationship much better, so you have a more profound understanding of love from now on.
  • Making an effort VS making an intelligent effort.  Instead of going to random parties (making an effort), you can go to do some activities that you actually enjoy, because your hobbies are your values. It’s important to find someone who shares the same core values with you (making an intelligent effort) – that makes your relationship sustainable in the long run.  If both of you enjoy reading (your value is knowledge), you are very likely to meet each other at a book club.

(Jade Seashell is an Australian author, international seduction strategist and dating expert.  Her email is info@jadeseashell.com)

 

Download H!Look Now

Apple  Android

Jade SeashellPutting yourself out there to find Love again
read more

How to Manage Your First Kiss: Do’s and Don’ts

Now you are considering having your very first kiss, so I’ve decided to make a list of do’s and don’ts for you, so that you will enjoy your first kiss today!

  • Do include touch. That means when you are kissing your partner, you should also touch that person in a sensual way. For instance, you can touch your partner’s neck and back slowly and passionately when you are kissing your partner. This will dramatically increase chemistry.

  • Do it slowly. Your first kiss should be best characterized by a slow and gentle kiss. Look at your partner’s eyes closely. Allow your eyes to “travel” on different areas of your partner’s face gradually. This will build massive sexual tension. When your eyes are looking at your partners lips, you can start the kiss.

  • Don’t wear too much lipstick (don’t kiss a girl who wears too much lipstick). If a woman wears too much lipstick, her partner may be turned off because nobody wants to kiss wax. If you are a man seeing your woman wearing too much lipstick, try not to kiss her at that time because you don’t want to look like a clown after the kiss (her lipstick will be around your lips).

  • Don’t be completely silent. I know you are probably a bit shy. But if you want to have an amazing first kiss, you should try to make some sexy sound such as saying a sexy word with your slightly husky voice before the kiss.

Now you are equipped with the knowledge, so it’s time to hone your kissing skills!

By Jade Seashell (contributor), author of “A Seductress’ Confession: How to leverage beauty and savor tantalizing pleasure” .Jade Seashell is an Australian author, international seduction strategist and dating expert.

Download H!Look Now

Apple  Android

Jade SeashellHow to Manage Your First Kiss: Do’s and Don’ts
read more

How to Overcome Your First Date Fears

By Jade Seashell (contributor), author of “A Seductress’ Confession: How to leverage beauty and savor tantalizing pleasure”

Now you are going out for the very first date and you are nervous – that’s understandable and totally normal! I’d like to help you identify these fears and get over them today.

  • You are worried that you don’t look perfect.

The truth: You can never look perfect; you can only try your best to look good. I had a female client who spent three hours preparing for a date – choosing the right outfit, working on her hair and makeup, etc. In fact, men don’t know whether you have used lipstick or lip gloss! Therefore, as long as you are happy with what you see in the mirror, it’s all done! Also, if you are a man, you’ll be fine as long as you look clean and decent because women don’t really care about your looks that much!

  • You are thinking about what to say.

The truth: In fact, you don’t need to do the rehearsal in your head, because you want to sound natural! Ironically, the more relaxed you are, the more likeable you become. All you need to prepare is something interesting to talk about rather than a script. Most importantly, you should prepare for having fun! Being playful will make you attractive.

  • If you’ve decided that you like that person, now you are wondering whether he/she likes you.

The truth: You would be well-advised to understand what’s in your control and what’s out of your control. Trying your best to be presentable and sound interesting is something in your control; however, whether he/she is going to like you or not is out of your control. Do what you can, and make peace with the rest.

A bonus tip: make sure your first date is not too long – this is because a short first date (about 30 minutes) fuels the anticipation and desire, which makes it more likely for both of you to schedule a second date!

(Jade Seashell is an Australian author, international seduction strategist and creativity advisor. You can email her at info@jadeseashell.com)

Download H!Look Now

Apple  Android

Jade SeashellHow to Overcome Your First Date Fears
read more

Falling in Love

Falling in love is a glorious feeling. It makes the world brighter. When you are in love, you feel whole, happy, and satisfied. You want to be good to others, since you are so happy.

When you fall in love, for a couple of weeks, this intense feeling is like a marvel. It fills you with energy, it makes you stronger and happier. You are almost feverishly happy, you are excited. There is a big smile on your face. You realize how attractive your loved one is. You study your beloved, and you detect new miracles: glowing eyes, classy face, elegant hands, strength, high intellect, wits, gestures that you admire. The simplest things, like a move of a hand or a smile, look wonderful when your loved one is doing it. You feel a reverence for your love. As if you were in a trance.

When you are not close to your loved one, you feel melancholic. You feel lost. The world is cold and empty. You just want to be near your love and hold hands for several hours.

A Long, Happy Relationship Requires Work

Later on, you get to know your partner, you spend time with them. Excitement fades away, and it gives place to mature, honest feelings that will last for many years to come. Attraction stays – its glowing embers are always there – and it becomes more complex and whole as you and your beloved develop a deep friendship. You realize that you must work for your relationship. You must make compromises. Instead of reading a good book, you must visit your partner’s old and angry aunt. You give up a part of yourself, in return, you receive a nice companion. You get back what you put out. If you are kind and patient with your loved one, they will be good to you. On rainy days, you can focus on the beginning when everything was wonderful. You need lots of patience and empathy to come over conflicts.

If things go well between you and your beloved, you both are happy with each other. You feel comfortable with each other. When your other half is present, you feel peaceful and relaxed. You two have a lot in common, and you can talk about any subject. You have similar values. The excitement of something new and grand is gone, but you have other feelings. By now, you know your loved one, and you trust them. You know their values and you know how they would react in different situations. They have already proven that they care about you. You know you made a great choice when you selected them. A good relationship is cozy, it is a secure haven from the world, like a warm, well-lit, safe home on a cold and snowy night.

How to Know a Good Relationship

A happy, successful relationship makes you feel better about yourself. You love yourself more, you are more confident. You open your heart and your horizon gets wider. You become a mature, understanding person, with empathy for others.

If you find the right person, you become a better, stronger person yourself. Instinct tells you to be nicer to everyone. You are more patient with others, you have a kind word for everyone. You want to be your best self. You want to be worthy of your loved one’s attention, you want to prove that you are clever, bright, motivated, interesting. You want to make life better for your loved one.

How to Find Love

It is not that hard to find your other half, someone whom you love. When you are looking for a romantic partner, open your eyes and study people. Do not trust everyone in the first second you met them! When you are looking for love, you are biased, so you may overlook warnings. Be patient and watch your loved one: are they good to others? Are they good to animals? It is a good indicator whether they are good persons. Even a selfish person might be polite with other humans, since rudeness would backfire. However, animals cannot defend themselves, so it is up to the person whether they are good to them. Selfless, caring people are kind to animals. Remember this one.

You want a good person to love you? Change yourself. If you are happy and confident, it will attract people to you. If you are whole on your own, you know your own worth, and respect yourself, it will show. Everybody likes a confident, satisfied person. Do not expect your relationship to change everything for you or solve all your problems, your despair, your loneliness. Work on yourself, know what kind of a person you want to be, know what you want in life, and focus on these goals. You attract people who are just like you. If you are a happy, classy person, you will attract such people.

Download H!Look Now

Apple  Android

h!look BlogFalling in Love
read more

Tips for meeting a decent man

Tips for meeting a decent man

Are you wondering what kind of a man you would end up with? Do you want a man who is smart and decent but also very attractive? The first thing you should remember while meeting a man is to be open minded. Don’t confine your ideas to a specific set of notions and be open to how the other person might turn out to be. Be curious.

Your first date will decide if there is ever going to be a second one. If you are lucky, you might bond with him right on the first date, thus sparing the endless hours of giving the benefit of the doubt. Here’s how you can prepare yourself while meeting a decent man.

Be Yourself:

What is the first thing that you would expect from a decent man? For him to be truthful and real. This is exactly what you should be on your first date. Don’t pretend and be another person in front of your date. If you hate sports, say so. Don’t pretend to be a huge sports maniac. The truth is always acceptable than an act of trying to impress someone. Besides, if things are panning out really well then you might want to start showing him what you really are. Just be yourself from the beginning.

Stop the analyser:

Don’t over analyse each word and each conversation. People tend to be nervous on their first date. Sometimes, people say things that mean a whole differently in their heads than how it sounds in yours. I am sure it happened to you too. However, there is a fine line between knowing if a person is just not your type and if he could use a second date.

Get personal:

Your first date does not have to be all small talk and jokes. Talk about your values in a subtle manner. Drop a question about one of your values and listen to their opinions on it. For all you know, you might be looking at someone with similar values.

There is always another date:

If things go entirely wrong with one date, you don’t have to push yourself for another one. But that doesn’t mean that you need to give up on dating as a whole. Take a break for a while before you start seeing someone else. When you do, always remember that no matter how many meaningless dates you have been on, it is always a first time with a different person.

Download H!Look Now

Apple  Android

h!look BlogTips for meeting a decent man
read more

Clearly Defined Qualities Can Help You to Find The “Right One”

When it comes to relationships, your success at finding the right mate means doing some serious planning. You must take the dating game seriously, as it’s the only surefire way to find the person you’ve been searching for.

Mindless dating – the dating where you just date anyone to be with someone – often leads to heartbreak… for you and the person you’re dating. This kind of dating is not good for anybody. And, if you’re tired of doing it, you need to make a change within yourself and tell yourself you’re done with the somewhat loveless relationships.

What should you do to find yourself the “Perfect Partner?”

Determine What You Want In A Mate

The first and most important thing you need to do is recognize the qualities you want in someone. What are going to be their most defining qualities that will make you fall in love with them? Look deep within yourself to learn these answers. A meaningful relationship is more than looks; really address the qualities you want.

  • Do you want someone who saves money but knows when it’s okay to spend?
  • Do you want a person who’s healthy most times?
  • Do you want someone who is good with children?
  • Are you looking for a kind person – a person who would give the shirt off their back to help a person in need?

Write these qualities down, thinking of at least 10 of them. And, when you start dating, go back over the list. Has your date mate most, if not, all of them? If not, they’re not the right ones for you.

Think About Your Own Qualities

Once you’ve determined the qualities you seek from your partner, it’s time to do some self-reflection.  What qualities can you bring to a relationship?

  • Can you make your partner smile when they need it most?
  • Can you ease his/her troubles?
  • Will you be there when both of you are stressed out?

Write your own qualities down. What can you bring to your partner that will get them to stick with you? Don’t worry if you can’t think of all your qualities at one time. The process should take longer than 10 minutes. Put your list away and let mind subconscious take over. If it thinks of something that’s not on the list, write it down.

When two people know what they want from a partner and the relationship, the partnership is generally much happier. Sure, opposites can attract, but that doesn’t always mean they balance one another. For instance, studies show that people who are smart tend to seek out other smart people to align themselves with unconsciously.

What does that mean? It means that the key to a great relationship is to be a complement to each other.

Download H!Look Now

Apple  Android

h!look BlogClearly Defined Qualities Can Help You to Find The “Right One”
read more

Love and the City

It is no secret that relationships are difficult work, and looking for someone to spend your life with may be a roller coaster of bad times, cheesy lines and distress. But why has relationships become so hard in cities? Maybe in places like these, love doesn’t feel like an effort; relationships are not something that holds you back in the quest for stability; dating is not a heinously pricey drain on your efforts and bank account. Dating and meeting in a city is totally different from dating in small towns and local areas. The busy lifestyle, the high cost of living, and all kind of competition make it so hard to find love in a city compared to a more conservative and laid back environment.

Many people gravitate toward big cities due to the excitement, job opportunities and chance to enjoy a great number of entertainment and activities, all in one place. But what happens when you are trying to settle down with a partner? Is it hard to meet people when you are rushing around a buzzing city? Here are main reasons why many people who stay in a city have such a difficult time finding love and that special connection.

1. Most people are not making dating a priority

Naturally, humans find the time for the stuff they want to do irrespective of how busy they are. A great number of women who stay in a city overbook themselves with all professional and social duties. They push dating to the bottom of their priorities checklist. People do this mainly because they are brainwashed for the past few years to believe that getting busy makes them more appealing and attractive. While there is certain truth to that, most women take this to the extreme and get too busy with other things other than making time to flirt, date, and meet the guys they find interesting.

2. Folks have lost their ability to talk and communicate.

Hiding behind their computers, then their cell phone until they sleep, folks are losing their ability to verbally convey and make communication. It is becoming notable that normal discussions have become a taboo. But spelling your life scenario to a stranger online is much better. No wonder people are becoming more exposed and people are changing their lovers so quickly.

3. People have chosen careers over romance

Women are climbing the ladder of success, becoming CEOs, business owners, world changers and leaders of nations; so who has time for a committed relationship? In one way, career has become the first love, so people find it difficult to get a person that can fit around, or fit into their schedule. A prosperous career demands lots of time and attention, but so does a committed relationship. In most situations, one gets sacrificed for the other.

4. Courtship is a rare thing

The word courting in cities looks like something of old day times, but if we add # in front of it, people can again make it a trend. People live in a world that is fast moving and impatient, where people expect outcomes without putting much effort. Taking the time to court goes beyond just a date, but most people have lost sight of what the foundation and first stages of a good relationship should look like. Folks are intimate, both emotionally and physically before they have even had the opportunity to know each other’s intentions or character.

5. Online dating needs a revamp

With the number of fake internet profiles and misrepresentation, it is really a meat market. Mainly developed for hookups or temporary relationships for men and women searching for a real thing among people who does not share the same purpose; while some are just having a great time, deep inside, many would wish to find a perfect relationship. But most online platforms are not necessarily responsive to this specific need. Internet dating needs a different thinking if it was to facilitate meeting normal great people who are seriously interested in relationships.

6. Also, human connections are becoming so restricted since cell phones become part of our everyday lives. People are so used up with their smart phones; they might also implant it on their faces. Do people even notice who is around them? In every subway, bus, train, coffee shop, lounge or bar, men and women are on their smart phones. Cities are breeding surrounding for hectic people that are focused on their professions. From the moment they get their early morning coffee to the moment they leave their last gathering at night, they are always moving from one spot to the next.

Cities also stimulate this way of living, from snack shops to fast paced public transport. The time anyone has a moment to themselves is when they are waiting around for something. Even chances are they will be checking their Smart phones for the next appointment.

The search for love in a city might not be straightforward, however you decide to pursue it, but it’s extremely important to give yourself the better chance. The good news is that, avoiding few of the above complications is a totally reasonable goal and it shouldn’t take much time or much effort, but it is worth it if you are planning to find the kind of relationship and love that will make life more fulfilling and exciting. At the end of the day, many would agree that the greatest value of all is love.

Download H!Look Now

Apple  Android

h!look BlogLove and the City
read more