H!Look Blog

How to Overcome Your First Date Fears

By Jade Seashell (contributor), author of “A Seductress’ Confession: How to leverage beauty and savor tantalizing pleasure”

Now you are going out for the very first date and you are nervous – that’s understandable and totally normal! I’d like to help you identify these fears and get over them today.

  • You are worried that you don’t look perfect.

The truth: You can never look perfect; you can only try your best to look good. I had a female client who spent three hours preparing for a date – choosing the right outfit, working on her hair and makeup, etc. In fact, men don’t know whether you have used lipstick or lip gloss! Therefore, as long as you are happy with what you see in the mirror, it’s all done! Also, if you are a man, you’ll be fine as long as you look clean and decent because women don’t really care about your looks that much!

  • You are thinking about what to say.

The truth: In fact, you don’t need to do the rehearsal in your head, because you want to sound natural! Ironically, the more relaxed you are, the more likeable you become. All you need to prepare is something interesting to talk about rather than a script. Most importantly, you should prepare for having fun! Being playful will make you attractive.

  • If you’ve decided that you like that person, now you are wondering whether he/she likes you.

The truth: You would be well-advised to understand what’s in your control and what’s out of your control. Trying your best to be presentable and sound interesting is something in your control; however, whether he/she is going to like you or not is out of your control. Do what you can, and make peace with the rest.

A bonus tip: make sure your first date is not too long – this is because a short first date (about 30 minutes) fuels the anticipation and desire, which makes it more likely for both of you to schedule a second date!

(Jade Seashell is an Australian author, international seduction strategist and creativity advisor. You can email her at info@jadeseashell.com)

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Jade SeashellHow to Overcome Your First Date Fears